Friends for life reunite on USask campus to relive college days

The world has significantly changed since 1980. The Rubik’s Cube was invented, ‘Call Me’ by Blondie was the No. 1 song on the Billboard music charts, Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back was the highest-grossing film, and the USask Place Riel Student Centre officially opened. But for Sue Ann Abbott (née Hipkin), Maureen Bilawchuk, Jackie Bragg (née Christensen), Debbie Burgher (née Flegel), Karen Chow (née Will), Maureen Miller (née Fletcher), Cathy Richardson (née Sampson), Karen Studlin, Betty Tomilin (née Forster) and Carol Tubman (née Coakwell), it was the burgeoning of a sisterhood that would transcend time and provincial borders. 

Being in the right time and place, in this case in Voyageur Place Residence, one choice influenced by a person they had never met before changed the trajectory to enrich each of their lives. 

The commitment to stay connected after graduation started with phone calls and written letters and has evolved to text messages and group chats. The friends have been by each other’s sides as they each positively impact thousands of colleagues and students in their respective professions. They have also shared personal triumphs and stuck together through family losses. 

As the only constant in the world is change, this group remains stable and strong. 

I came back to the university after teaching for four years and was planning to change my career. I came back also with the intention that I wanted to become the female resident advisor, which I did in my second year and for some years after that. 

It was just nice having this group in the hallway. I’m eight years older than the others so I guess I became known as the wise older sister, although I’m not sure that I was wiser than any of these ladies. 

I remember Karen Studlin and I going to folk dancing that first year. It was a new club that had started on campus. We started there and then I ended up being the director of the Saskatoon International Folk Dance Club for a few years. 

I am not a great letter writer or social media person, but these ladies keep in touch without judgement and that is heartwarming. I enjoy their company and the humour and wisdom that they exude. As was mentioned by some of the others, when we have issues, it is nice to have a group with a common link and similar experiences with whom to share. 

I’m from B.C. so staying in residence was the practical option. Initially I was interested in vet med, which meant hours of homework and studying in my room. Everything was so different to begin with, including my first prairie thunderstorm and the local dialect (whoever has heard of a “bunnyhug?”). If it hadn’t been for Cathy knocking on doors for 4:30 suppers, I probably would have stayed in my room.   

Although I never became a vet, I did meet lifelong friends which I consider a “God-thing.” I could have gone to any other school, but I didn’t. Instead, I went to U of S, met some fun, down to earth, kind, and thoughtful people in the same stage of life. Over the years, we attended special events together, travelled together and before texting, chatted on the phone and sent letters. Forty years seems like a long time, but a shared history is a strong bond. Making the effort to visit and chat, even in a different time zone, does make life so much more interesting and fun.

I was roommates with Karen in residence and she’s the reason I started liking country music. She would set her alarm for an hour before she planned on ever getting up. Country music would come blaring on and she’d hit the snooze. 

This group of friends, even though I only spent a year in residence, were always an anchor and people that I could come back to and reconnect with. 

When I was going through a hard time with my mom and dad as their health was turning, I had support and encouragement from people who had gone through that already.

I think it was during my second year when one of my courses got cancelled and I had to figure out what else to take. Carol came back to residence and she said “I’m taking a drama class. Debbie, you would love drama. 

I’m a very practical person so I wasn’t sure what I would do with a drama class. I followed her to the class in the Hangar Building and the door opens, and I was like, “Oh my God, I'm home. I love this space, the feel of it.” 

And I became a drama teacher. I started off in middle years reading, which was my area. I took these drama classes and ended up teaching French immersion kindergarten.  

The director of education for Moose Jaw Holy Trinity came by one day and asked me, “The division is thinking of starting a drama program at the high school. Would you be interested?” I’m like, “Oh my God, I would love to do that.” And I started teaching drama there. 

I was a terrible drama teacher when I started, but I learned and grew. I’ve done plays now with high school students and with adults. I just completed a two-year stint as the president of Theatre Saskatchewan, which is an adult group. I adjudicate, I give workshops, I’ve taken part in and won festivals, and we’ve had just so many wonderful, beautiful memories. If it hadn’t been for Carol telling me to take drama, I don’t know what would have happened. 

I decided, being very practical, that I should live in residence because it was on campus, I wouldn’t have to cook, and I would have time to do all my engineering homework. 

I had completed the first two years of my engineering degree at the University of Regina before transferring to the University of Saskatchewan. So, I was transferring into a group of engineering students who had already known each other really well for two years and in a field where there were not a lot of women. 

I arrived, I didn’t know anyone, and I immediately had engineering homework. The professors gave us tons of work the first day because there’s a lot of material to get through. 

I’m in my room in residence and I’m trying to concentrate. I had moved on to the quiet hall, but the quiet hall was not quiet at all. There were all these noisy women outside in the hall disrupting my studying. I had never lived in Residence before, so I wasn’t used to noise. I didn’t know who these people were but I asked if they could be quiet several times. 

Finally, I gave up and I went into the hall and I met all these lovely people. My life at the university was so much better because I had a group of friends who weren’t in engineering. My life for more than 40 years has been richer, because I met this group of women. 

One choice can change a person’s life, whether it’s registering for a drama class or finding the courage to reach out and extend an invitation to join a popcorn party. 

Sue Ann was the resident assistant on our floor in residence. My younger sister had run away from home and had become pregnant. The rule in residence was that you could not have visitors stay the night and you could not bring food to your room. 

I went to Sue Ann and I told her “I have a situation. I have a sister who’s in crisis and she has no home, and she has not yet told our parents that she is pregnant.” I asked if she could stay in my room and if I could bring her food from Marquis Hall. 

Sue Ann kept my secret and she kept my sister safe for quite a few weeks. It got my sister through a very difficult time. My sister struggled her whole life with addiction and took her life two years ago, but I know that she lived a longer life because Sue Ann welcomed her to my room 40 years earlier and allowed me to take care of her through a very difficult time. The daughter that was later born had her mom for many years, where she maybe might otherwise not have. 

Another example of how one choice can change a life was when I was in line at the College of Education Building and needed to change a class. I was wearing a new pair of shoes that day, I had a blister on my heel and I needed a bandage. I turned to the girl behind me and I asked if she had one in her purse. She said, no, but she did have one in her residence room. So, 46 years ago Deb and I met and became the best of friends. 

One of the things that has kept us together is our love of music. Deb taught me how to play the guitar. I went on to become a music therapist, music teacher and professional musician. A lot of that work I do involves using a guitar, and I wouldn’t have known how to use it had Deb not taught me that you could play almost any song with three chords! My life has changed because of that friendship. We wrote and performed the grad song for the Bachelor of Education faculty banquet in 1984. 

Having a memory that’s a collective shared memory and having markers of time with the same people, whether it’s a graduation, a marriage, a birth of a child, a grandparent that has died, or a parent that is struggling with dementia, has been such a powerful way to navigate life because we all bring the same but different perspective. 

Some of us look through the lens of faith, some of us look at life with humour, and others bring great wisdom. It’s just been so enriching to walk through life with all these different perspectives that enrich your life and, in many cases, make it so much better and so much easier. I’m very grateful to all these ladies for all this richness. 

It is a unique event in history for us women and for the university that we would still be here together after 46 years. 

My parents suggested I stay in residence because I wouldn’t need to worry about cooking. I remember the day they dropped me off, I met someone I knew from elementary school in Moose Jaw. She happened to be in school here and invited me to dinner at 4:30 pm. I was used to having dinner at 6 pm but the early meal time was a thing. We lined up on the ramp at 4:30 to get in to eat. 

We met other people from Moose Jaw, including my now husband. We had a lovely time and I remember coming back to my room thinking, “I am a very introverted person, and I’m going to be very lonely here if I don’t somehow force myself to meet people.” In commerce, there weren’t a lot of social activities that interested me. 

I remember walking down the hall in residence and seeing people and I started introducing myself. Some were welcoming and I would sit down and have popcorn parties in the hallway with them, or we would sit out after supper and share the newspaper. 

Over the years, I realized all the learning wasn’t just in the classrooms, but so much was from each other in the hallways of residence, sitting on the carpet and just chatting about life and how to manage the stress of university. 

We helped each other get through classes and finals and over the years, through difficult times. 

I think about how different my life would have been if I hadn't lived in residence. My first room was in the party wing and my new roommate insisted that we make the move to the quiet hallway.

The people that we meet during our influential years and highly stressful times really do impact our lives. If I hadn't made that room change, my university career would have been very different. As a result, I ended up on a hallway that had people that not only supported me, but influenced where and how I spent my time.  Encouraging messages on the whiteboards on my door, people to attend events with and friends that would really listen and help. This shy gal never felt alone.

Not only did we help each other through the university times, but also the transition to our careers. I ended up teaching French immersion kindergarten, an area in which I had no training. Because of this group, I had a couple friends that were doing the same thing. We were able help each other through the first years even though we lived in different places.

When I got diagnosed with cancer, Cathy sent me her chemo hats and supported me by phone. When my marriage fell apart, Karen sent me a plane ticket to spend at her home to get away and evaluate my life. Betty transitioned from her encouragement and humor on our dorm door whiteboards, to letters, calls and invitations to keep us connecting over the years. In spite of the differences with our physical locations and careers, having these people that I bonded with during my most vulnerable time has been a very precious gift in my life.

Of the 10 of us, I was the only one in the group that never planned on living in residence because I had a place off campus. Oddly enough, I spent my very first night after moving away from home … in residence. My place wasn’tready and it was rather convenient that Carol’s roommate wasn’t there that weekend. 

Carol and I had earlier attended a university orientation during the summer where we met Debbie and Karen. From there, our paths crossed off and on for several months until my off-campus situation changed and at the same time Debbie needed a new roommate. So, that is how I came to move into residence.  

As for a memory that stands out, I have a collection of memories of friendship. Late night conversations, walking together to Marquis, random notes, talking instead of studying—all of these were unique to residence because there was always someone around. 

Friendships in residence come and go but we’re extremely fortunate that we’ve been able to reconnect after all these years. During the planning for that first residence reunion something interesting occurred. As I searched through old photo albums, there were many photos taken during our time here, but I found only one photo of all 10 of us together posing in one of the rooms. This is the photo we recreate when we get together.

My dad suggested that I live in residence because I would be closer to my classes and my meals would be taken care of. Then I met these fantastic women. I found that I really enjoyed the social aspect of hanging out in the hallway, going to college, having pizza at the College Inn that used to be next door to the Dairy Queen with this group, and going to the dances. 

I met my husband at a dance and we’ve been married 41 years. I was at a dance with a friend in the Memorial Union Building (now Louis’ Loft). I was walking to get a drink down the aisle between tables and I stepped in a puddle where somebody had spilled beer on the floor. I slid about three feet into my future husband’s lap. He can literally say I fell into his lap.